Back to School

Since my children are home schooled and we choose to school year round, we’re always on break when the local children go back to school. So we start again after the Labor Day holiday. It’s always exciting for the children to go back to studies after the break. It’s kind of our version of “back to school.”
This school year, I’m teaching nursery/preschool, first grade, fourth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, ninth grade, and tenth grade (whew!). We learned so much over the past school year that I’m looking forward to some of the new subjects we’ll delve into. We’ll be notebooking more this year and we’ll be doing a picture timeline for history, which is something a little different from our usual event documentation. I tried to do a little bit of notebooking with them this week, and they had a blast! I had them watch the dissection of a starfish and then create a salt dough model with a cup of flour, a cup of salt, and enough water to make a stiff dough.

It went over very well, I must say. The children particularly loved eating the chocolate chips before (and after) they went on the model.

On another note, back to school is also a sign that candle season is quickly approaching. We’ve been testing scents, baking, and making to restock our local booths and to place on the site.  We’re doing a few new scents because the tests went so well. I’ll be introducing them on our Facebook page very soon so keep posted. One of the bakery items we’ll be placing on the site include nine inch apple and pumpkin pies. We do these in both candle and ornamental.

This is one of the ornamental pumpkin pies that we’ve done. It’s even pumpkin pie scented. The children thought it was real.

Well, I actually have to get started with planning the rest of my school year (while my children start their break until after Labor Day).  As usual, breaks for everyone else is never a break for Mom. Not a complaint – just a fact, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

SAHM Movement Rocks Feminism

The feminist movement resulted in a high demand for childcare (amongst other things). In order for women to leave their homes and make, what they viewed as, a more significant mark on the world, they began to seek care for their children. Makes sense. Mom gets a job. Mom needs a fill in to do all the things she would be doing with her children while she's working. That may work for a lot of women. But here's the thing. A little while ago I saw this video from a news report on a daycare provider who looked out the window as a nine year old boy punched and kicked BABIES in the daycare. If you choose to watch the video, it's terribly disturbing but it's the very reason there needs to be a reality check in this country. There's a need for children to have mothers who will rock the feminist boat and come back home to care for them.

I've heard moms say that they couldn't stay home because their children would drive them crazy. I've heard moms say they couldn't be home with their children because they couldn't afford to.  I'd like to ask the moms who have either mindset to watch the video and ask themselves which is more important, the children or the career? If the answer is that the career takes care of the children, then I'd like to ask what material things does their career or job provide their child(ren) that is worth their replacement at home? In other words, which would the child rather have, the things or the mom.

Sometimes we get to a place where we feel that we were someone before we were moms. Sometimes we get wrapped into a selfish pity party where we trick ourselves into believing that we can have greater impact someplace else. Maybe it's that the job of motherhood is not filled with outward gratification that the workplace may provide. However, children are a heritage of the Lord, and if they are a reward, as the Lord says, we should feel gratification for being chosen by Him to mother His little ones. Besides, it's the little ones who are sacrificed when moms think in such a selfish way.

Feminists worked hard to give women choices but the choice should always be the home first, our husbands and our children. If a woman cannot stay home because she's a single parent, or she has to work because her husband can't, we should support that woman because she doesn't have the choice. However, it's time to bring more moms home to be moms, and many times it really is a choice.

Here are two of nine reasons I've made my choice. I will continue to pray for support of those who don't have the choice as well as those who choose to walk away for what they feel is a better "lifestyle." That video is one that impresses more upon my heart to do whatever (or without whatever) I need to in effort to be with my babies.

Should Older Children Help to Raise Younger Siblings?

Should older children help raise their younger siblings? I just saw that question asked on Twitter. Then, to make the question even more interesting, there were a number of comments, mostly in opposition that expressed hating when older siblings are forced to take care of their younger siblings.

I'd like to first say that it is a parental responsibility to raise children. Siblings are not parents and should, therefore, not be forced to raise children who are not their own. Now this brings me to another important factor. What one person deems as raising a sibling may not be deemed by the parent as raising the sibling. Therefore, you have before you a matter of opinion.

Some people believe that childhood should be a time of freedom, a time of games and playing without the burden of responsibility. I believe that all thing should be balanced and that childhood should be a time of fun and freedom combined with all the senses of learning true responsibility, how to serve others, and how to share with and help others. Our human nature is very selfish. We are a self seeking people, which makes it naturally difficult for us to put others before ourselves. By encouraging our children to help their younger siblings to brush their teeth, clean up messes, make their beds, and get their assignments done, we're teaching them a tremendous life skill as well as building character. These are not things that they'll get from reading a book or taking a class but things that you can only learn in real life that, in no way, take away from the freedoms that come with childhood.

In our home, our older children help with many of the day to day things I just mentioned. Our older children will even kiss and love up a younger one when they hurt themselves. However, I don't view this as them raising their younger siblings at all. Even when my older children are correcting their younger siblings by keeping them from getting into something, or stopping a toddler tantrum, they're not parenting but responding to common family situations that will follow them into their own families, and some of that is even teaching them to be peacemakers in the center of conflict.

As for those who hate when older siblings are forced to take care of their younger siblings. I have found that when a person isn't a part of a large family structure, it's a bit difficult to understand how things work. In the case of our family, and I have also seen this with the Duggars, the older children are thrilled when there's a new addition to the family and more than willing to care for, nurture, and help with the younger siblings without any force involved. The younger siblings look up to the older ones and there's a sense of trustworthiness and friendship that is developed amongst the children as they entrust one another with things that are close to their hearts.

So should older siblings help to raise their younger children? I still say no. Should they have important roles in their siblings lives and take responsibility for nurturing, loving, and looking out for their younger siblings? On that, I would have to say absolutely, yes.

40% off Carters Site/Store Wide

Right now you can save 40% in store or site wide at Carters. This is off all store items so it's a good time to get many of those cute tees that can be worn this fall. In addition, grandparents can shop on Wednesdays and get an extra 10% off in stores. So if you want a few new things for the children but you don't like to spend a lot, take a look at Carter's and save 40% on some of those really cute items you'd never spend full price on.

Save $1.50 on Children's Advil

There's a Children's Advil (R) coupon on Facebook for $1.50 off any Children's Advil (R) Product so head on over to their Facebook page and print your coupon. I was able to print two from my computer, and it looks like the expiration date on them is 8/10.

Life Lessons: I Forgot To Do My Chores

In our home, we believe that children are to be willing participants in keeping our home clean and safe for everyone to enjoy. It's not just on Mommy to keep the house clean, do the laundry, and cook the meals. Everyone has to do cheerfully do their part, as a team, to make our home a place that we all can enjoy.

There are many things that we don't want to do in life but if we just ignore them, we can cause harm to someone else or even inflict some pretty bad consequences on ourselves. I don't always want to wash dishes but if I ignored them long enough, the stench from decay as well as waste left by microscopic organisms that thrive in such conditions would make my family ill. Further, if I do my tasks with a dismal or complaining attitude, my children will find their work to be just as dismal and I will have a difficult time convincing them to do their tasks with joy.


When one of our children doesn't complete their task, there is a consequence. These consequences vary accordingly. This week, my seven year old missed three days of bringing the laundry down to the laundry room. Since we absolutely have to wash at least four loads of laundry daily to keep up with it, missing just one day can lead to a heaping pile of laundry. Since it was time to wash comforters, I didn't check up on his job, personally. One of his older siblings brought it to my attention when looking for a clean shirt to wear. Having kept up my washing, I traced the missing shirts back to my 7 year old not doing his part in bringing down the laundry. Of course this made more work for me and my other laundry person. So I decided to teach a lesson about how important it is for each person to do his or her share.

 I thought it would be nice to take a trip to the laundromat to wash all of the clothes and since the laundromat comes with a price, my son had to pay a price as well. It was a tiresome morning washing, drying, and folding all 14 loads, and there was no mercy from the heat that came from the dryers that added to the already scorching weather we had here. I brought drinks, and we worked until the laundry was done - no breaks.

Sure, my sweet son was able to replenish his fluids and race around the laundromat on the laundry carts as he went from washer to dryer but it was definitely not a fun experience that he'll want to repeat. His take was, "I never want to do this again." My response, "Then it's important to do your job promptly so you won't make more work for the others on your team or yourself."

Home Expectations - Do They Help or Hinder a Healthy Home?

Homes are all different yet one thing that I believe every home shares is expectations. What our expectations are can help or hinder a healthy home, free from unnecessary stress and burden. Whether we expect that work take precedence to play or the reverse, expectations can give our home a flavor of peace or turmoil. Setting goals based on reasonable expectations can help us achieve the peaceful home we all yearn for.

I find that in my own home, the things that have caused me the most stress have been when I'm engaged in something and I have to stop to do something else or when I walk into a messy family room and the children are lounging around in it as though they don't see the mess. These are just a couple of tickers that get me going. Next thing you know I'm frustrated, the children feel my frustration through the change in my countenance, and my home has changed from a place of peace to a place where strife begins to rise up in the behavior and attitudes of my children. The question I've had to ask myself is, "What is most important?" 

In my home, I'd rather have peace than strife and to achieve that sense of peace, I have to check the importance of my expectations. I expect that none of the children sit in a messy room. I realize that in a family of 11, it's expected that home will not be immaculate; however, a sense of tidiness is expected so that we're not all tripping over toys and other objects that are either carelessly thrown or have fallen on the floor. So to translate my expectation to my children, we've made a rule that they are only permitted to sit in a room to relax, read, or watch a video if that room is tidied. Tidiness of a room to me means that the room doesn't have toys or other items on the floor and that the sofa is clear for anyone to sit on it. So the goal is to have the children take the responsibility for picking up and putting away all items immediately after they use them as well as enforce what I believe is a very basic rule, which is if you knock it down or drop it, pick it up. This goal helps me to achieve the expectation of a tidy room without frustration and furthers the main goal of peace.

I also expect that my children follow all instruction without complaining in tone, words, or body language. There is a time to work and a time to play. Work is a part of life and to complain about it is to not only complain against parental authority but also to complain against God. Therefore I expect my children to work cheerfully so that they can unwind and play as a reward for their effort. To achieve this, there is a consequence of additional work for whomever complains about an instruction or task. Some times that means they'll miss out on part of a movie or other family activity because they have extra work.

I've found that consistency with keeping my expectations reasonable, setting goals to achieve my expectations, and enforcing appropriate consequences have really helped to create a more peaceful home, and I'm certain that the character that results from these things is something that the children will be able to carry with them well into their future.

Funny Things Children Say

Sometimes I'm still amazed at the funny things that children say. My sweet nine year old daughter, who is a very bold speaker, gave me a bit of wisdom yesterday. Although she's very aware of what happens during puberty, we've never quite had the technical discussion of how mommies become pregnant. So I was quite enlightened when we were sitting around the family room and she and her older sister were having a nice little conversation about Mary's virginity.

Once it was explained to Niah that a virgin is someone who has never been with a man, Niah very kindly said, "Well Mommy must be a virgin because I've never seen her 'with' Daddy. And if she isn't a virgin then she must have committed adultery." I tried my best to keep from laughing. It appears that although the darling has been in our bedroom, because she's never seen Mommy and Daddy "kiss" in the bedroom that there's no possible way Mommy could have ever been with Daddy to have babies. So when my eldest daughter asked Niah how Mommy and Daddy had so many children if they've never been "together." Niah smiled and simply said, "Maybe she was filled with the Holy Spirit."

One Way to Get Your Children to Help at Home

If listening to the story of the Buffalo Public School Teachers spending $9 million on cosmetic surgery at the expense of tax payers wasn't enough, I ran across an eBook on Amazon this morning titled "77 Ways to Get Your Kids to Help at Home (77 Ways to Parent Series)." I'm thinking, "What in the world is going on?"

As a child, when I was told to do something, I just did it. My parents didn't have to devise 77 ways to get me to do it. I just did it.Why is it that, in this day, we need tactics and tricks to get our children to do what they're supposed to do - what we ask of them? Am I effectively training my children for the real world, the work force, by tactically "getting" them to help out at home? Their employers won't tolerate tactical approaches to getting work done when there's a deadline that needs to be met. Getting the children to help at home is absolutely not something I'm willing to use a tactical approach for.

So I'm going to share one way to get your children to help at home. It worked for my grandmother, my mother, and it works for me. That is, tell your children that it's their responsibility to help you around the house. They are a part of the family and everyone in the family has to help. Give them their appropriate responsibilities and give them a consequence when they don't follow through. Enough said?

If you want to check out the eBook. It's free on Amazon. I haven't read it but the title itself is just not appealing to me.

The Start of Our Relaxed Hair Journey

Hair journeys can be really fun and watching the progress can be great. I've just started one with my 14 year old daughter's hair. Her hair type is 4A, a tight curl with an "S" pattern. However, I've just kicked this journey up a notch because I relaxed her hair about two weeks ago. As much as I struggled with this decision, she's really not a child who likes to put much time into her hair and becomes easily frustrated with it. However, now that she has chemically treated hair, we're doing a regimen that will be easy enough for her to do and will give her the achievement she's seeking.

This is going to be a bit challenging because we've moved from having natural hair that was already a bit fragile to having damaged hair in the sense of all chemical hair being technically damaged by the chemical that's in it. So we're now working with an even more fragile hair type that is going to need special attention. I know it sounds like I've added more responsibility to the already easily frustrated child; however, with the relaxer, she's achieved her ability to wear her hair in more versatile flat ironed styles.

So the key with her hair will be to keep it free from breakage while increasing its length. Since her hair is fairly short measuring 3-3/4" in the front, 4-3/4" on the sides, 3-3/4" in the back top and 2-3/4" in the lower back, I'll only allow her to flat iron her hair once weekly. Her other options will include a wrap without heat, a set with minimum heat, and twist outs.

Our hair regimen will include a shampoo spiked with a few drops of rosemary essential oil twice weekly. We are currently using Dr. Bonner's 18 in one Hemp Peppermint Castile Soap (diluted) for our shampoo with Doo Gro Mega Long Deep Conditioner once a week for 15 minutes under the hard dryer. The second shampoo will be conditioned using Aphogee 2 Minute Reconstructor Conditioner, no heat but a plastic cap for five minutes. We will also be using a hot oil treatment as needed. Our moisturizer will be coconut oil since it is easily absorbed by the hair and does not sit on the hair shaft as many oils do. We don't want oily hair but healthy, moisturized hair that shines as a result of its healthiness.

So we're starting our first shampoo today with the keratin conditioner and have noticed that no hot oil treatment is needed. Today we'll also be doing a wrap that we'll tie up with a doo rag and allow to air dry. We want to use as little heat as possible so that we don't encourage breakage, the opposite of our goal. Also because tomorrow we will use our one flat iron day and then we'll continue to wrap with the doo rag until our next shampoo, on Saturday.

I'm excited to see how this works and will post pictures and track measurements as we proceed.

Judging Jane

You're in the store to pick up a few things and, as you head toward the register, you spot Jane. You know Jane. She's the one who's child will NOT stop screaming and throwing a fit in the store. She calmly asks little Johnny to stop screaming and extends her hand to grab him but Johnny jolts backward and stiffens his body in protest. Jane pleads with Johnny, in her calm, yet exasperated voice, to calm down, and she even promises him ice cream once they leave the store if he would just stop embarrassing her.

In front of you, in line, is Lisa whose son, Larry, dodging from side to side around his mother, is trying his best to get a glimpse of little Johnny in action. However, in the middle of dodge left, Lisa gives Larry that look, the "I wish you would" look. You overhear Lisa conversing with the cashier about what she would do if Johnny were her child and how embarrassed she would be if Larry were as poorly behaved.

I haven't met a woman yet who didn't desire a well behaved child. Many times, we rattle our brains trying to figure out just how to get them to behave. For some, poor behavior in a child is a result of consistently allowing the child to have his way or maybe it's looking at the child's behavior as a "cute" phase. Sometimes we just don't think about it at all when they're small and notice their behavior when they become of school age. Whatever the situation, and however early or late such behavior is noticed, nobody wants an unruly child.

With this in mind, we shouldn't be too quick to judge Jane and compare our situations, as Lisa did. Lisa may have grasped an early hold on Larry's behavior but nobody has it all together. To look at Jane in disappointment is to puff up ones self and look down on another. This is something that God never wants us to do. It could have been a hectic day for Jane. She could have received some bad news prior to her trip to the store. Johnny could be having an emotional meltdown because of a family circumstance. Unless you know someone's situation personally, you never know what a person is dealing with that may affect their behavior. Therefore, it's impossible to compare what you don't know.

What we can judge is that Johnny is having a bit of a tantrum. Jane does not like Johnny's behavior. Johnny is resisting Jane, for whatever reason, and Jane is trying to control it as best she can at the time. Those are things we can clearly see. To get into how much better a job you could do if you were in Jane's shoes would be impossible, not knowing Jane's full situation, and, in fact, it's just plain arrogant and self-centered. Would you have spanked the child or screamed at him for his behavior if he'd just received the news that his dear granny passed and was throwing a fit in the store as a result of that?

Rather than throw stones at Jane, a better idea would be to find a way to encourage Jane. "I remember when my son used to do that," or "I can help you put your things on the counter if you'd like" can be encouraging to Jane when she's flustered. It also may spark Johnny's attention and get him quiet to see you jump in and help his mom.  It may be wrong for Jane to allow Johnny to display disrespectful behavior but it's equally wrong for you to compare your situation with hers. We need to encourage rather than condemn. God tells us in Galatians 6:1, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted." I think that sums it all up. A little meekness goes a long way.

A Child's Right to Technology

There are so many liberal opinions about disciplining children that it's scary. I recently watched a You Tube video where a fed up dad shot a round of bullets into his daughter's laptop as a lesson. Some of the comments were amazing. There were actually people who responded as though the dad was depriving his daughter of her access to technology. What?!
  
Since when does a child have the right to technology? Last I checked, Internet didn't come with the house nor are there entitlement programs for smart phones, laptops or iPads. In fact, for a child to have his so called right to technology, it costs the parents hundreds, even thousands, of dollars when you include software, upgrades, usage, and maintenance costs. But since we're talking about rights, who's responsible for managing this right? Isn't it the parent's time (and more money) involved in monitoring the information accessible to the child on the world wide web? Tell me, again, where this right comes in?


Certainly I want to give my children things but there are many factors that determine what I give them and when, technological or otherwise, and their right, or what someone else feels is their right, is not one of those factors. For example, there's the factor of whether my husband and I actually think it's beneficial vs. harmful. That's more of a "how I choose to raise my children" thing. Then there's the factor of whether the child actually deserves this particular thing. The child's overall character, level of maturity, and responsibility fulfillment (yes, chores) are also major factors. God gave us our children to love, guard, care for, and train, which brings me to the most important factor - how it fits in with our relationship with Christ and our family mission in Him.

So where I'm not quite the advocate of the Children's Right to Technology Movement, I certainly support the Campaign for the Right of Parents to Determine Their Children's Rights as well as the Children Earning Rights Movement. I've found that children appreciate things much more when they've worked for them and when they know they have to work to keep them.

*Note* The You Tube video that I have linked and referred to contains profanity and should, therefore, be viewed with discretion.

Big Blessings From Little Things

Each of my children are so very different. Where there's one who is interested in reading, there is another who doesn't care much for it. Where there is one who is interested in making sure not one ounce of bad bacteria lives in the kitchen and bathrooms, there is another interested in baking every sweet thing in the Joy of Cooking cookbook. This morning, I experienced opposites in a way that completely blessed my heart.

As we watched snow fall, my boys (ages 4, 7, and 12) got a notion to go outside on their first lesson break. I watched the excitement grow as they talked about tossing the football in the falling snow. My oldest son was probably the most excited about playing football in the snow but it didn't take long before he was able to draw the other two boys into his excitement.

Before our lessons were underway, I made my usual speech about sitting and listening attentively to earn their break after the lesson. Everyone sat up eagerly awaiting the lesson with great anticipation of going outside. Sure enough, about halfway into our lesson, I had to give my seven year old his first warning. Two minutes after, there came a first warning to my four year old and, within a twenty minute period, I had to take the break away from both boys.

Oh how my seven year old cried. I explained to him why I had to take away his break and he continued to whine in protest to my decision. He became more adamant that he didn't deserve the punishment and that he would never get to go outside. Quickly, I assured him that he was on his way, early, to losing any opportunity for the second break. The crying continued. On the other hand, my four year old looked at his older brother with a smile and said, "Well, Jordan, at least we have a chance to go outside the next break." He sat up with a bright smile and looked over at me.

What a refreshing opposite that was. Sometimes we need to have someone give us a brighter side to look at. We can get so wrapped up into the way things may look that we forget to see what good there is around the corner. I'm so thankful for these little boys. It's such a blessing that their differences can be such a blessing to one another, and even to the hearts of their mother.

A Mess in My House!

Why in the world does my house look such a mess? From the time the children wake up, we have breakfast, do our memory work, bible study, and our math lessons. I try to keep everyone in the same room but, it never fails, when I take a tour of the downstairs prior to lunch, it's quite a mess.

It's not easy keeping things orderly in a home of eleven. In fact, I've had to realize that things will NOT always be orderly. I mean, if you walked into my home right now, you'd see books stacked in front of the fireplace from our reading basket, a table with almost empty water bottles on the tea table, papers sprawled across the sofa, a laptop on the back of the sofa, and the vacuum lying on the floor. Now it wasn't like this when I started my morning but, somehow, between breakfast and our last lesson, an invisible tornado went through this house and we were sitting right here amidst it . So how do we get things back in order?

Here are a few things that I always revert to when the invisible tornado hits my home:

1. "If any would not work, neither should he eat." (Thess 10:3)  Before we can have lunch, everyone has a jurisdiction he or she is responsible for. All jurisdictions must be complete prior to sitting down for lunch.

2. Everybody must be responsible for his/her own things. If you put it down, you must pick it up.

3. Do all things without complaining or disputing. (Phil 2:14) There will be absolutely no complaining (verbal nor nonverbal) about a job you have been assigned or there will be a consequence (a less favorite meal - soup works for my children, loss of free time, or even an extra chore).

As I type, my little blessings are busy getting things back in order so that we can enjoy a comfortable home once again. Soon we'll all be having lunch and quiet time. However, the fourth matter of importance that I've found - a must for success with children, I must now go to inspect all of the tasks that they've been given.

I'm still not sure how things get this way so quickly but it's not as frustrating when there's a plan to get things back in order.