Should Older Children Help to Raise Younger Siblings?

Should older children help raise their younger siblings? I just saw that question asked on Twitter. Then, to make the question even more interesting, there were a number of comments, mostly in opposition that expressed hating when older siblings are forced to take care of their younger siblings.

I'd like to first say that it is a parental responsibility to raise children. Siblings are not parents and should, therefore, not be forced to raise children who are not their own. Now this brings me to another important factor. What one person deems as raising a sibling may not be deemed by the parent as raising the sibling. Therefore, you have before you a matter of opinion.

Some people believe that childhood should be a time of freedom, a time of games and playing without the burden of responsibility. I believe that all thing should be balanced and that childhood should be a time of fun and freedom combined with all the senses of learning true responsibility, how to serve others, and how to share with and help others. Our human nature is very selfish. We are a self seeking people, which makes it naturally difficult for us to put others before ourselves. By encouraging our children to help their younger siblings to brush their teeth, clean up messes, make their beds, and get their assignments done, we're teaching them a tremendous life skill as well as building character. These are not things that they'll get from reading a book or taking a class but things that you can only learn in real life that, in no way, take away from the freedoms that come with childhood.

In our home, our older children help with many of the day to day things I just mentioned. Our older children will even kiss and love up a younger one when they hurt themselves. However, I don't view this as them raising their younger siblings at all. Even when my older children are correcting their younger siblings by keeping them from getting into something, or stopping a toddler tantrum, they're not parenting but responding to common family situations that will follow them into their own families, and some of that is even teaching them to be peacemakers in the center of conflict.

As for those who hate when older siblings are forced to take care of their younger siblings. I have found that when a person isn't a part of a large family structure, it's a bit difficult to understand how things work. In the case of our family, and I have also seen this with the Duggars, the older children are thrilled when there's a new addition to the family and more than willing to care for, nurture, and help with the younger siblings without any force involved. The younger siblings look up to the older ones and there's a sense of trustworthiness and friendship that is developed amongst the children as they entrust one another with things that are close to their hearts.

So should older siblings help to raise their younger children? I still say no. Should they have important roles in their siblings lives and take responsibility for nurturing, loving, and looking out for their younger siblings? On that, I would have to say absolutely, yes.